Renes

Rene: I wave to the teacher as he goes, then take the other up to our flat. "Well that was a wonderful first day of school." I say sarcastically. "For all the trouble you got into you're not getting your reward. I was going to let you be the bottom for once, but noooo, you had to argue with the teacher, get sent to the principal's office, and spend 3 hours extra after school in detention. Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" I cross my arms and tap my foot impatiently.

I yell at her "my fault?! any of that? nooo, I was just quietly sitting in class. okay, I didn't pay attention, so?! HE was the one that disrupted class by giving me detention. seriously, who gets detention for not paying attention? that was totally unjustified. what are you going to say next? 'you could have waited until after class' NO!" I calm down "I have been through all this before and it's not fun. it starts small. first just a little unjustified punishment. back then I didn't fight back. I accepted the little punishment. and so the teachers got more confident and gave me more and more unjustified punishments and the students followed and soon I was everyone's victim. every student, every teacher, all of them bullied me. when I started fighting, it was too late. well, not any more. No student and no teacher shall think that they can bully me. no, they shall see that I will fight back. that's why I had to do defend myself in class instead of after class."

Rene: "I've received detention, before. And it WASN'T unjustified. It's the teacher's job to make sure you pay attention and learn something. You weren't physically hurt, all you had to do was sit for a few hours. It could have been a lot worse. But you don't care. You don't want to listen, you don't want to learn, you don't care. About school or about me. The only one I saw being a bully today, was you. You were bullying the teacher, for no reason. Just because he wanted you to stay after class for a little while. That detention probably only would have lasted 1 hour instead of 3, had you not arguing and being so mean. Go to school, don't go to school. I don't care anymore. If you think everyone is ganging up on you, why don't you just go back to where you came from. At least there, you know everyone's out to get you, unlike here, where the only one causing a problem and shouting at everyone is you. I've never been so embarrassed in my life."

"Rene..." my shoulders sink, my eyes are fixed on the ground. "I am listening to you. I'm even going to school for you. I paid attention the entire day for you until I doze off a little in the end, but even then I was paying attention. now I ask you, are you willing to pay attention to me? can you listen? please?"

Rene: "I am listening to you, but you aren't making sense. I was in class with you, I saw what happened. You think I'm blind? The teacher was doing his job, and not bullying you, and you jumped down his throat for it. If I was the teacher, I would have given you a detention, myself."

"but for what? I wasn't bothering anyone and I am not a child any more. it's not his job any more to make me pay attention. I am old enough to know myself if I pay attention or not.

(in Germany, you first have Elementary school, which is mandatory, then some more school, which is mandatory and afterwards you may choose to go to school some more, or go to work. When you are old enough for that decision, you may also decide how much attention you pay. You won't get good grades when you always sleep, but it's not the teacher's duty any more to ensure you pay attention. and you certainly will never get detention for silently sleeping in class as long as you don't disrupt anyone.)

Rene:  "How can you learn if you don't pay attention in class?  It's the teacher's job to see that you learn.  The teacher was doing his job by giving you that detention."

(In the US, We have preschool and kindergarten, for little kids, where we learn ABCs, Counting, colors, and coloring.  Then we have elementary, with is grades 1-6, where we learn basic math, reading, history, and science.  Then we have Jr. High School or secondary school, grades 6-8, where we learn intermediate math, history, reading, and science.  Then we have High School, Grades 9-12, where we learn to apply our math, reading, history, and science skills to real world scenarios.  After grade 12, we don't have to attend school anymore, but attending school past grade 12 can help us get better jobs.
Anyway, here, you don't get good grades if all you do is sleep.  In all my years of going to school, I've fallen asleep in class maybe 3 times. Twice in grades 1-12, once the teachers and other students made fun of me and stuck papers onto me, the whole while I slept all the way through it, the second time, I can't remember what happened. The third time, was in college, (Past grade 12.)  It was movie day in composition class, and the minute the movie went on, I went out.  Movies for that class were graded and questions about them often appeared later on tests. Of course, I've been known to snore, so it's pretty easy to catch me sleeping in class.
So either public humiliation or fail.  This teacher was being very nice to Rene, in choosing to see him after class.)

(Oh yeah, if you're caught dozing off in class, teachers have been known to make students stand up at the back of the class, to help kids stay awake.  I know I've had that done to me, at least once or twice.)

"no. he could have said 'please pay attention' or something like that. I even did pay attention. okay, I was looking at you, but I don't need my eyes to hear. I listened to what he said. maybe not to every word, but enough to know that he didn't explain what that stupid crescendo thing is. then he asked me if that piece was crescendo. I answered his question as good as I possibly could and he accused me of not paying attention and gave me detention in front of every student in that room because I didn't know something that I just couldn't know. When he asks me a question to see if I paid attention and I answer that question and thereby prove that I paid enough attention to answer it, and he then accuses me in front of everyone and gives me detention in front of everyone, then I would call that an unjustified detention."

(to avoid confusion: the teacher did NOT explain what crescendo is before he asked Rene "is that crescendo?" maybe he mentioned that word but he didn't give a clear long explanation about it. your Rene probably thought the teacher explained it, because she already knew that word and therefore understood what he said, but it wasn't enough information for my Rene to figure out that crescendo is something different than a title.)

Rene: "What a crescendo is and is not, was not the problem. It was how you reacted to it. Arguing with the teacher over him doing his job, that was what the problem was." Sighs. "Why waste my breath. You're right, everyone is bullying you and picking on you. Keep acting so defensive about everything and you're going to get thrown right out of school. But you probably want that. You never wanted to go to my school anyway." I need to go somewhere to calm myself down, but the apartment is so small, I go outside and to the laundry shed, to sit and calm down in quiet.

(Why am I suddenly reminded of the time one of my history teachers explained a lesson, assigned homework to go along with the lesson, and when the entire class failed the homework because they didn't understand the lesson, all got held over in detention? 30 kids in one class all got detention at the same time.)

"Rene!" I call helplessly after her when she leaves. I stay, uncertain what to do. I go to the wardrobe and start packing my suitcase.
~what else should I have done. I would have waited. but he gave me detention on my first day. I'm the new one, I'm a boy wearing dresses, of cause I will get bullied. and then I get detention in front of everyone for not knowing what a crescendo is. that's as if he said 'listen everyone, feel free to bully the new one'. I had to show everyone that I won't accept that.~

(here when you don't pay attention, the teacher says "pay attention" and when you don't, after class he comes to you and says "I'd like to have a word with you.")

(Depending on the teacher, you may get a warning, you may get detention. Either way, warnings and detention aren't that big of a deal. As long as you aren't getting into trouble every day of school, most people don't even care.)

Rene: I'm crying myself, trying hard to calm myself down.

(well, since you get like no detention at all here, unless you punch someone in the face or are caught throwing microscopes through class, we'd be shocked if we had to spend one more hour in class for something like dozing off.)

I try to hold my tears back so that I don't wet my clothes while I'm packing, but after I am done I can't hold them any more. I kneel down, bury my face in my hands and cry and cry.

Rene: My tears eventually dry up. Wiping my face with my hands, I stand up and start back for our place.

(I told you it all depends on the teacher and the school. From grades 1-12, I went to about 12 different schools. Pretty much a new school every year. I learned early, that if you're quiet and you watch the teacher, you won't get in trouble.)

(Rene was quiet. he sat there, looked at Rene's hair and halfway listened.
Rene told Rene "ignore them and they'll ignore you. Well, Rene ignored the teacher but the teacher didn't ignore Rene)

Rene:
I sit at the table, a piece of paper in front of me. so far I have only written one sentence "I will leave you, my love." and I started the second one "I am an embarrassing..." I look up, see Rene and blush. my suitcase stands next to the door.

(Female Rene was talking about the other students, not the teacher when he's teaching.)

Rene: I enter the place, noticing the suitcase. "So you're running away, like a coward? Fine. Do what you want, I don't care." I start another bout of crying and run into the bathroom.

(I know. I was joking)

I stand up and knock on the bathroom door. "may I come in?"

Rene: Calls through sobs. "If you want to leave, then leave! I won't stop you."

"Rene, I don't want to run away. it's just... I love you. I love you far too much to let you live with an embarrassing bully. I made you unhappy. I'd rather make place for someone who is good for you."

Rene:  Squeaks behind the door, whining.  "You don't need to make room for someone else.  I don't want anyone else.  I love you, you big, hulking, stubborn, idiot."

"and I love you. I don't want you to fee. bad. you know, once in my old school while I was lying at the ground and five guys were kicking me, there was this boy who told them to stop. took him a week to get out of hospital. If I should ever become a bully victim again, they'd do the same to you. I don't want that. I love you" I press the door handle (is it locked?)

(No, it's not locked.)

Rene: "But that's the thing, I've never been bullied at this school, by the students, by the teachers, by anyone. I can tell when someone's being mean because they're a jerk, and when a teacher is just doing their job, teaching the rest of the class. The teachers have never had a problem with me. Except at the beginning when they used to call me Mister instead of Miss. But they understood, and I like them."

I come in and hug her "I can't believe that. not yet. not after everything I have been through. maybe in the future, when I know them, but not yet."

Rene: Wipes my eyes. "Well, you don't have to go to school no more if you don't want to. I just thought, school was better than being home bored and lonely all day."